The somewhat coherent ideas and ravings of your typical insane idiot.
Dunno
Published on March 27, 2004 By Rev Zim In Life Journals
This is a mini-update to everything, I think.

Well, I've gotten happy again (sorta), but I'm dead tired right now, so this might sound strange, only because I'm dead tired and can't think straight.

I have yet to cut my hours at work. I don't know how many I need to stay full time, and I can't ask until monday at the earliest, because, quite frankly, my job sucks. I know, it's bad for me to say, but it does. I just don't know about it, I'm only happy there when one of like six people are working, and even then, it's still... just a job. I need to find a new line of work, I really do.

As far as this girl goes (her name is Heather, I might as well tell everyone that), I don't know. We've talked on the phone a few times, and she has a very beautiful voice. I have a problem though, and that's the fact that I fall for people all too easily. But whatever, I've done it so many times that I just grin and shrug it off. (Amber who?)

I'm going to describe an AIM conversation the two of us had. I asked her if she liked me, and how much. She said yes, and a lot. Bah, I don't know where I'm going with this, I really don't understand girls, that's about where it ends up at. I'm just confused.

Anyways, in Dragonrealms (DR for short), the two of us made escape characters, just so that we could not have to worry about all the drama that happens with her other characters. She's glad we did it, I'm glad we did it, which makes both of us happy. That way, if something horrible goes wrong, but we both want to play still, we don't have to worry about anyone coming to find us/kill us in game. Because no one knows who we are.

Basically, I'm at about a 40% happiness level at home, and a 20% happiness level at work. I still go to work, but I just don't like it anymore, it makes me SO mad sometimes. And at home, don't even get me started... my mom keeps going through periods of depression, my parents constantly bicker and argue, and I have no escape, except DR.

Oh, on a side note, Heather and I are planning on meeting sometime. She only lives a state away, and when she moves, she'll be about the same distance, only two states... and by the way, either way it's about a five to six hour drive, which isn't too shabby. I'm just trying to talk to her more, get her to "open" up a bit more with her feelings. She did mention that every day we hang out in game, she starts to like me more... which is a good sign. And the escape characters are a REAL good sign. Now, if we could only find some weapons for our new characters...

I guess, well, I don't know where I went with this post, but I hope it was informative.

For those of you who want to read a post about ghosts, please please please speak up. I'm not going to spill my guts about them (what little information I have is enlightening though) unless people actually want to read it.

And to all of those who posted when I was depressed, thank you. While no one person in specific really made a difference, all of the feedback did "kick" me into being happy again. I do appreciate it, even though I may not say it all the time.

Comments
on Mar 28, 2004
"I have a problem though, and that's the fact that I fall for people all too easily. But whatever, I've done it so many times that I just grin and shrug it off. (Amber who?)"

GRIN AND SHRUG IT OFF MY ASS!!!

Sweet Jesus, you hold grudges worse than an old sicilian woman.

In other news, never ask a girl if she likes you, it's kinda 3rd gradish. Work sucks cuz you have to put up with pissy people, nuff said. On the homefront, if your parent's fighting is pissing you off, get involved. To say your mom is emotional is an understatement, do what you can to cheer her up, just remember that you have a life to live too.

More importantly, while your mom is emotionally fragile, sometimes you have to break your mom's heart. No matter what happens you'll always be her baby, but she also needs to understand that you're a man and you need to go out and do your own things. She'll always be concerned for your safety, that's what a good mother does. But it's up to you to leave the nest, not her, so don't let her make that decision for you.

long story short, you're mom's a frail woman, but nothing you do is going to hurt or kill her.
on Mar 28, 2004
Hurt? Yes.
Kill? I would certainly hope not.